Thursday, December 14, 2006

Chimerical Mail Time

Hello Rae Ann,

I'm writing to express concern for your apparent instability lately. Are you okay? Are you doing everything in your power to improve the situation? Thanks.


Dear Concerned,

Thanks for being concerned. It really helps more than you realize to know that someone actually is concerned. :-) Yes, I believe I'm on the road to recovery from a little wild roller coaster of a time. Though, it would be unrealistic to expect that things won't ever get a little crazy. That's just the way things are around here. Again, thanks for caring.

Rae Ann

Dear Rae Ann,

Inquiring minds want to know. What is your connection to Lubos Motl?

The National Enquirer

Dear National Enquirer,

Don't you usually offer people lots of money for juicy, exclusive stories? Well, sorry to disappoint you (and myself), but I can't answer that question. And the reason I can't answer it is not because my spokesperson hasn't collaborated with his spokesperson, but because that answer has not yet been defined. Sorry, inquiring minds will have to keep wanting to know. Thanks.

Rae Ann

Hi Rae Ann,

Why don't you ever post pictures of yourself? Is it because you're fat and ugly?


Dear Anonymous,

Well, I'm not in the habit of taking (and sharing) pictures of myself for many reasons. I'm usually the one taking the pictures of everyone else. And I've grown past that stage of needing to see myself in pictures and needing others to approve of my appearance in those pictures. And yes, I do think I'm fat and ugly, at least compared to when I was young. But I've earned the right to have a spare tire and some gray hair and wrinkles and all those other 'landmarks' of life. I've lived a lot in the last 15 years and it shows. But you know what? In the long run I think that my fat genes will prove quite beneficial and adaptive for my offspring. My kids are not fat at all, however, but they probably do carry the genes for fat storage. I think all of those super skinny people and their offspring, if they manage to have any, will die off much quicker when the New Ice Age hits. Diversity is the spice of life. Besides, it's much more sensuous to cuddy up to someone soft and warm than cold and skeletal. But I suspect you'll never have that pleasure.

Rae Ann

Dear Vicious Momma,

What is up with you and religion? Are you in or are you out?


Dear Confused,

Only God knows the secrets of my heart. ;-)

Rae Ann aka Vicious Momma

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