Ghost of Toolshed Present: Busy, busy, busy

This picture intrigues me with its sense of work and industry and the shadows and shapes. It's some painting by a Depression Era artist who was paid by the government as part of the New Deal or something. There's a post about that here somewhere. The Lego-looking men are almost comical, but I guess their form also suggests the dehumanization of the world at that time. And who doesn't love Legos?


The present is the shortest period of time we experience because it's gone in a flash. All of a sudden it's the past, so it's really hard to justify spending too much of that precious present on talking about it instead of actually living it.. Time flies when you're having fun - or when you're too busy to know if you're having fun or not. Anyway, the future looms with its deadlines, responsibilities, and potentials that fuel the present. Speaking of presents, it's only 10 days until Christmas and Santa has lots of work to finish.

Merry Christmas to all!

Depression Era Art

This 1934 painting amuses me somehow:



Courtesy of Smithsonian American Art Museum which is opening a new exhibit of Depression Era Art in order to capitalize on the "Great Recession" as they call our current economic conditions. Kind of clever, I guess.

So you have this state-sponsored artwork that shows the messy consequences of "progress" and productivity and growth. Well, you have to use energy to actually make things happen so it seems a natural thing for Tofel to paint and "honor" the factories as an important part of the scene. I'm pretty sure that a state-sponsored "Great Recession" artist would not be allowed to promote such politically incorrect things as smoke stacks. ;-)

Shine On You Crazy Carbon

"Shine On" by me, around 2005

Remember when you were young,
You shone like the sun.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Now there's a look in your eyes,
Like black holes in the sky.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
You were caught on the crossfire
Of childhood and stardom,
Blown on the steel breeze.
Come on you target for faraway laughter,
Come on you stranger, you legend, you martyr, and shine!

You reached for the secret too soon,
You cried for the moon.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Threatened by shadows at night,
And exposed in the light.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Well you wore out your welcome
With random precision,
Rode on the steel breeze.
Come on you raver, you seer of visions,
Come on you painter, you piper, you prisoner, and shine!

Nobody knows where you are, how near or how far.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Pile on many more layers and I'll be joining you there.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
And we'll bask in the shadow of yesterday's triumph,
And sail on the steel breeze.
Come on you boy-child, you winner and loser,
Come on you miner for truth and delusion, and shine!

"Shine On You Crazy Diamond" by Pink Floyd

Cool video by someone else:

Zero

Just a clip art and not something I made.


On the sidebar I just noticed that Technorati says I'm a zero. Funny. I guess that's what happens to neglected blogs. Well, lately most of my expressive energy has been spent on "artwork." Maybe I should call that "art therapy" instead, since "artwork" sounds too pretentious to me. The one I've worked on most is really just an exercise to use up my obsessive/compulsive energy and it's not really something that most people would like or appreciate. Maybe I'll post pictures if I ever finish it, but probably not because I don't think a photograph would translate it well. And it's hard to share such things anyway. Maybe I would be embarrassed for people to know that I've spent so much time on something so inconsequential, or trivial.

Trash to Treasure: Or Let There Be Light 2

I sometimes have delusions of Godliness. ;-)

In the beginning, when God created the universe, the earth was formless and desolate. The raging ocean that covered everything was engulfed in total darkness, and the power of God was moving over the water. Then God commanded, "Let there be light" -- and light appeared. God was pleased with what he saw.

Genesis 1: 1-4 (Today's English Version)

Indulge me and allow me to say that so far science has not yet falsified the above passage. The "earth" was really and truly formless and desolate until the light came. That raging ocean engulfed in total darkness was the primordial stuff from which the universe "banged" ;-) and maybe it was even what we now call a black hole. No scientist has yet identified what stimulus, or "power of God", made the light first appear or caused that raging ocean of darkness to change and produce light (and matter).

Well, anyway, I've been turning trash into "shabby chic" lamps again. Because she knew I have a thing for old lamps and junk, friend brought me some lamp parts that some old lady was going to throw away. I made three lights from those parts plus a lamp base I already had.

I've had this cherub lamp base since I was in college. It used to be a regular lamp with a shade, but the kids destroyed the shade a while back. So I put the glass hurricane globe on it. Instead of wiring it there is a tea light candle that fits perfectly in the thing that holds the globe. It would be very easy to go back and wire it for a bulb later if I ever decide to do that.







Here is also a picture of it with the candle lit, but the picture isn't too good because of its soft glow.







Then I made two candlestick style lights from the other lamp parts. I gave one to my friend who brought me the parts, and here is the other one. They were almost exactly alike, except the one I gave her had a marble base and a bigger candle part. Both had the amber beaded bulb covers that make a nice design when turned on. These are fully wired and electrified, and not true candles. ;-) The pictures above are of the same lamp, one turned off and one turned on.


To see my other light creations:
Trash to Treasure: Or Let There Be Light 1 (2005)

Name That Box

FeaturelessUnremarkableCommonKind

Trapped In A Box

In the Eyes of God/From the Void/The Eleventh Dimension

Narcissus

Scrying

Spirit House

Birthday Earring

It's a Nice Box

Rottweiler or Psychotic Kitten?

Random Assemblage

Is That Really Me?

Does This Look Vicious?

Sunshine of Your Love

The Joker



This project came about completely by accident when I was decoupaging some of my very favorite paper scraps (left over from the cutest gift wrap I got at Pier 1) to this wooden crate in which Spanish clementines (a type of mandarin orange) are sold. I really love these crates because they are sturdy and good for storing things. Most people probably throw them out with the garbage, but since I'm an old country Redneck I keep stuff like that because I know I'll find a use for them. The picture was just an experiment that I didn't like much, and while reorganizing some things I just kind of tossed the picture into the crate. Then I decided that there was just something compelling about that combination.

Then I ended up kind of mesmerized by it because it seemed to look different every time I looked at it, hence the list above reflecting some of those thoughts and feelings. I've never been happy or comfortable with my appearance, and I always find it puzzling and surprising, as if after 39 years I've never really known my own face. I kind of cringe sometimes when I see pictures of myself, but this project has made me try to look more objectively. Well, I can't honestly say that it has changed anything: I'm still not comfortable or happy with my face.

De-motivation

Make your own "motivational" poster.

The Woman of His Dreams

My best friend's brother is an aspiring film-maker in LA. He has a short film in a contest for a Dreamworks mentorship. The more views and good reviews it gets the better his chances. Please take 5 minutes of you time to view it. I just watched it, and I think it is absolutely stunning - visually and pacing and all those other qualities that make good films. You can sign up to post a review, but it isn't necessary to sign up to view his or the other films.

Please watch it and help Walt in pursuing his film-making dreams:

The Woman of His Dreams by Walt Foreman (click it!)


You won't regret it! Thanks!

Love Is A Battlefield

Heartache to heartache we stand
No promises, no demands
Love is a battlefield

We are strong, no one can tell us we're wrong
Searchin' our hearts for so long, both of us knowing
Love is a battlefield

Love Is A Battlefield by Pat Benatar

The Kiss by Gustav Klimt, one of my very favorite artists

Once I had a love and it was a gas
Soon turned out had a heart of glass

Heart of Glass by Blondie

heart of glass

A few months ago I traded in my heart of glass for a heart of titanium because the transparent and fragile glass one had been broken so many times. But my body is rejecting that transplant, which is the real reason why I keep getting sick, so I'm shopping for a new one.

The strongest and most fiery is certainly a diamond heart
but they are just too expensive.

Of course, there are cheaper alternatives to diamonds like Moissanite and Cubic Zirconia, but still for something the size of a human heart it is too much money and untested for these purposes besides.

While a heart of chocolate
would be very sweet and easily melt, I don't think that is any more practical or durable than a heart of glass.

So I just don't know exactly what would be best. It needs to be something that works well and is durable and tough without being too hard and impenetrable. Love is a battlefield, and hearts get broken and mended. Maybe I should just see if I can get back my old, battle-scarred but familiar and full of love heart. Maybe if I keep working on it I'll finally get that alchemical formula for a heart of gold.

For each man in his time is Cain
Until he walks along the beach
And sees his future in the water
A long lost heart within his reach

The One by Elton John

Happy Valentine's Day!

Self Portraits

I'm not sure why most artists tend to do a lot of self portraits. Maybe it's because when you need a subject that is the easiest one to get. Maybe it's some kind of obsession with trying to make yourself into the image you wish you were instead of the one you are. Maybe it's to remind your kids what you looked like when you were a certain age. I don't know, but here are some I did today:


I like this one.

This one is okay, but I think I look kind of old.

This is just a photo very similar to the above but slightly different and with no special effects.

Naughty Beardsley

Find more naughty Beardsley here.

And for not naughty Beardsley look here.

To learn about Lysistrata look at the wikipedia article.

This posting is in no way an anti-war statement. I just like the phallics in this picture. I'm such a simple creature. ;-)

Happy Hoe New Year!

Thanks to reader, Rafa, from Madrid, Spain, for alerting me to this Hoe poem and Hoe painting.

The Man with a Hoe

Bowed by the weight of centuries he leans
Upon his hoe and gazes on the ground,
The emptiness of ages in his face,
And on his back, the burden of the world.
Who made him dead to rapture and despair,
A thing that grieves not and that never hopes,
Stolid and stunned, a brother to the ox?
Who loosened and let down this brutal jaw?
Whose was the hand that slanted back this brow?
Whose breath blew out the light within this brain?

Is this the Thing the Lord God made and gave
To have dominion over sea and land;
To trace the stars and search the heavens for power;
To feel the passion of Eternity?
Is this the dream He dreamed who shaped the suns
And marked their ways upon the ancient deep?
Down all the caverns of Hell to their last gulf
There is no shape more terrible than this--
More tongued with cries against the world's blind greed--
More filled with signs and portents for the soul--
More packed with danger to the universe.

What gulfs between him and the seraphim!
Slave of the wheel of labor, what to him
Are Plato and the swing of the Pleiades?
What the long reaches of the peaks of song,
The rift of dawn, the reddening of the rose?
Through this dread shape the suffering ages look;
Time's tragedy is in that aching stoop;
Through this dread shape humanity betrayed,
Plundered, profaned and disinherited,
Cries protest to the Powers that made the world,
A protest that is also prophecy.

O masters, lords and rulers in all lands,
Is this the handiwork you give to God,
This monstrous thing distorted and soul-quenched?
How will you ever straighten up this shape;
Touch it again with immortality;
Give back the upward looking and the light;
Rebuild in it the music and the dream;
Make right the immemorial infamies,
Perfidious wrongs, immedicable woes?

O masters, lords and rulers in all lands,
How will the future reckon with this Man?
How answer his brute question in that hour
When whirlwinds of rebellion shake all shores?
How will it be with kingdoms and with kings--
With those who shaped him to the thing he is--
When this dumb Terror shall rise to judge the world,
After the silence of the centuries?

1899, Charles Edward Anson Markham (1852-1940)
Using the penname Edwin Markham

Markham was inspired by the 1863 painting "L'homme à la houe" by the French artist, Jean-François Millet (1814-1875), to write this poem.




If you think that guy is worn and tired, just imagine how his poor hoe must feel! ;-) Actually, I think he'd have saved his back some trouble with a longer handle on his hoe, but I guess back then they made do with what they could find.

Incidentally, this morning I watched part of a documentary about Afghanistan and was enlightened to see that even when people live in caves they have the same concerns and conflicts within their families as people who live in warm, comfortable houses. The wife was bitching at the husband about the same things I bitch about sometimes, and the older man was bitching at the younger man (not sure if the wife was this older guy's daughter) about going out and getting a job to help support the family. It is very weird to know that in the twenty-first century there are people still living in caves. It is another moment of realization at how good my life is and how thankful and appreciative I must be.

As we begin 2007 let's all reflect on the blessings we've received and be truly thankful for them. And let's hope that the New Year will continue to provide for us the things we need. And also, let's have compassion and empathy for those whose work is greater than ours and whose lives are harder.

Happy New Year!

PS I did ring in the New Year with a glass of premature lemonade, and it was pretty tasty!

Proud Momma

I don't talk about my kids much here. It's mostly a matter of privacy and protecting them. Since this is a somewhat adult themed place, Google often sends people here looking for some pretty nasty stuff. You can't be too careful when it comes to protecting your kids' identities, etc. on the tangled up tubes of the Internet where creeps can be lurking anywhere. But all of that said, I do want to talk a little about my wonderful progeny.



This drawing was done yesterday by my six year old son. I really love it because it seems very complex - emotionally and symbolically- coming from a six year old. He loves to draw and make books that tell fantastical stories about blood, guts, death, and so on. I asked his kindergarten teacher if I should be concerned with his fascination with death and stuff, and she said that it's pretty common for his age. I recall my oldest son also drawing gory pictures when he was younger, but he was probably not as prolific with it.

My youngest is kind of a typical youngest child. He's very imaginative, outgoing, adventurous, and perceptive. I've been a little off my rocker the last couple of weeks, and I wonder if my instability is somehow reflected in his drawing. We are especially close in an unspoken kind of way. At some point I want to tell the story of his 'becoming' because it is kind of unusual. Bringing him into the world was very physically traumatic but emotionally healing.

Whatever my phenotypical (visible traits produced by the interaction of genotype and environment- for those whose last biology class is a distant memory, like mine) deficiencies might be, in my children I can see that the genotype (genetic constitution) isn't so bad. Actually, I'm quite amazed that they came from me at all! I only hope that they were spared any of my bad genes.

No Brainer (or kitten work)

I've done another tarot card this week. It's one that I kind of think of as a "no brainer" because it's meaning is pretty well 'set' and so there's not a lot of variation in the imagery that works. This is part of the tarot system. It's very iconic and representational. Of course, these qualities aren't highly valued in the art world of today. All the hip art is vague and abstract and non-representational in nature. The artists claim that they don't want to impose their vision on anyone else, and so on and blah, blah, blah. Fine. Freedom is cool. But so is some guidance.

I like to think of tarot cards and early tarot readers as the counselors of their day. Oh, I'm not going into the history of tarot other than that it's pretty old, probably from around the fifteenth century or thereabouts. I'm being lazy today and not looking things up and linking. If you don't believe me then look it up yourself and then come back and tell me how wrong I am.

The cards in a tarot deck generally represent milestones, problems, stages of development, etc. that we all face throughout life. Imagine that a person in the sixteenth century was having some emotional concerns and needed some guidance. She probably went to the local 'healer' or 'witch' or 'shaman' or whoever for a 'counseling session' with the cards. Back before mass literacy and paperback self-help books people had to rely on other ways. Of course, they could go to their minister or the church for guidance, but sometimes we need something different from that.



The traditional imagery for the 8 of Wands is of 8 wands (sometimes staves, spears, or arrows) speeding through the air en route to whatever destination. We are only seeing the motion and have no idea where they came from or where they are going. We don't know if they are friendly or antagonistic or in what spirit they went flying. We don't know if they'll hit their target or fall very short or long. All we know is that they are going. They represent urgency. They can indicate important messages or other signals. They might indicate sudden travel. Sometimes they can imply the arrows of love, depending on the context in which the card is chosen. In the broader sense the 8 of Wands means that some issue is at its peak of movement. Nothing can stay in the air forever. Sometimes we just have to take some comfort in knowing that something is moving. And we have to accept that we don't have control over their flight or landing. We just have to let gravity do its work.


And actually, this card can pretty well describe the current environment and issues in Washington, DC, as well as some closer to home. Let the arrows fall where they may. I just hope they don't end up in my, or anyone else's, back.

Waiting

Finally, a new tarot card!

And the timing of its creation is of course, perfect, in so many ways. ;-) That it has taken oh, how long (about a year and a half?), to get the inspiration for it would be enough to make its nature so appropriate, but it also fits well with the current environment in other realms of life. I'm not sure but maybe all art is that way. But, anyhow, like Tom Petty says, The Waiting really is the hardest part.

What does it mean, "waiting"? I think it's our most intensive experience of the duration, or passing, of time. We are rarely as aware of time as when we are anticipating something. Indeed, waiting is probably the reason we humans started counting time in the first place.

This card, the 7 of orbs (pentacles in traditional decks), generally depicts a farmer waiting for his crop to be ready for harvest. But I started with a picture of the lemon tree and highlighted 7 of its many still unripe lemons this late into the season. I'm still waiting for them to ripen so I can squeeze some lemons ;-), but I fear they will just wither on the tree. Wasted energy? Wasted hopes and disappointment? Waiting can really test our faith. We never really can know if our efforts will pay off in the future or if we've worked in vain. Sometimes the wait for results is longer than we are comfortable with and that makes us pessimistic that we'll get any results at all. It's all up in the air. When there is such uncertainty it is easy to begin to feel like your work is done whether or not you see any results. Maybe you already got some results (the journey and not a 'destination') that aren't so obvious. Sometimes the process is more important than the outcome. On the other hand, the uncertainty of waiting can make us and others question our methods and goals. Part of the Seven of Orbs tells us that only time will tell and that we should practice patience with ourselves and with others. We all are waiting for something, and ultimately we are not in control of the outcome. But we are in control of how we wait and how we react when our waiting is finally over.

Magic Words and Alchemy

Much of the Cognitive brand of psychology tells us that we create our own reality with our thoughts and perceptions. A nice summary (from the above linked wikipedia article) of this approach to psychology is as follows:

Cognitive theory contends that solutions to problems take the form of algorithms—rules [processes] that are not necessarily understood but promise a solution, or heuristics—rules [exploratory or trial-and-error processes] that are understood but that do not always guarantee solutions. In other instances, solutions may be found through insight, a sudden awareness of relationships [intuition].

I must confess that I've had a longterm love/hate relationship with this Cognitive approach. While it seems to be one of the 'best' approaches to understanding our minds it still is missing something. And those "rules that are understood but that do not always guarantee solutions" are just not satisfying. When I was in school there was little discussion about the physical/biological aspects of our thoughts and behavior other than some brain anatomy about which structures were 'believed' to be related to different thought processes, etc., and even then the brain imaging technologies were still in their infancies so we just didn't know that much. All of that is probably the main reason I was unsatisfied with this 'cognitive only' approach. Apparently, many other people felt this same way because these fields were much more widely researched and developed shortly after I graduated.

Now I have the benefit of many more years of living and experience to add to my education. I've had plenty of time to observe, examine, study, and learn about my own thought processes and behaviors so that I've been able to figure out what's what (for the most part). Of course, not all people are like me so I can't assume that because something works for me that it must work for everyone else. But it's probably safe to assume that I'm not an anomaly either.

Besides, one of the things I've noticed over the years is that the things I get interested in are almost always very 'popular' soon after I get into them. I think it's just that I somehow have insights about future events/trends a little sooner than most people. And largely, when I talk about being "psychic" that is what I mean- "having insights about future events/trends sooner than most people." However, as I get older I'm finding that I'm becoming more accurate in more 'specific predictions' in addition to the more general trends. Maybe this is some brain mechanism or process that "burns" an 'easy track' in the neurons so that it speeds up with use. Maybe it's like a 'smoothing' or 'polishing' effect more than just a simple 'carving' out of space. Whoa, where'd that come from?? *snickers*

(Okay, so, I just got a little lost in the smoothing-and-polishing visuals ;-), sorry.)

"Neural Perturbations"


Anyway, this cognitive approach to understanding behavior has successfully spawned a large movement of psycho-spirituality which advocates the idea that we are ultimately in control of our mental environment (and by extension our outer environment somewhat) by adjusting our thoughts and perceptions of the world and how we react to them. The Four Agreements are a reflection of this movement, too, even though the Toltec Wisdom that bases them is much older than modern cognitive psychology. Part of this psycho-spiritual movement's growth has happened because of the compatibility of that older wisdom with the newer 'discoveries.' And in many ways it can and does work for people. We can stop thinking a certain way about things and therefore change our 'reality' (extrinsic and intrinsic environments) within limits.

But at what point does it fail to work? I've always thought that it is at some physical or biological point in the process, a threshold of sorts. I'm tempted to call this the Point of Alchemy*, meaning the point of "an inexplicable or mysterious transmuting," but that term is not optimistic enough for me. ;-)

It's pretty clear that there are many things we can't do just by thinking about it. We can't think up a rose out of thin air. We can't change water into wine just by thinking it. But at some point we are able to alter our reality with our thoughts, and by extension, with our words. And this is pretty much the basis of the Cognitive Therapies as well as the concepts of prayer and magical incantations.

We have lots of 'magic' words - words we can say that change our realities. Probably one of the most powerful is "love." If someone tells us, "I love you," it has the power to make us soar. How is it that one word (or three) can have so much power or 'magic'? And in case someone's heart is so hardened that "love" can't work its magic there is most likely some other word that would work just as well to change that person's reality.

Cognitive therapies are largely based on 'talk therapy' and working on 'controlling' or altering thoughts and behaviors through the use of words. The same is true for prayer (spoken or not). This cognitive practice in whatever form it takes can work at large scales of influence on people just as it can work on individuals. I think a good example might be the way the media can use particular words to alter reality. But again, I'm asking myself about the boundaries, or thresholds, or constraints. ;-)

Let's return to the quote at the beginning about cognitive problem solving. What it seems we need is something to 'consummate' or bridge the gap between the "algorithms" and the "heuristics". Even in psychology we need a 'unifying' theory of everything. Is it some 'physical' or biological process at which this 'alchemy' of reality happens? We know that many psychiatric drugs work by altering the 'chemical imbalances' that result in 'wrong' thoughts and behaviors. It seems we understand the chemistry of that action. But what about the changes that aren't assisted by introduced chemicals? What about those changes we induce ourselves by our own thoughts, etc.? Through biofeedback we do know of some things we can alter by our thoughts, like heartrate, pain relief, etc. But again, we don't know exactly why or how or to what extent.

I certainly hope that whenever someone does discover and 'prove' a Theory of Everything that he/she or another someone will be able to translate it easily enough to terms that describe how our minds work. And in many ways translations are a type of magic words and alchemy too. ;-)


--------
*Alchemy was the medieval chemical science and speculative philosophy aiming to achieve the transmutation of the base metals into gold, the discovery of a universal cure for disease, and the discovery of a means of indefinitely prolonging life. Personally, I can't imagine why anyone would want to live forever, unless you could remain at your youthful peak forever. ;-) And besides, I think that life is indefinitely prolonged no matter what we do. That's probably my Christian upbringing and its "eternal life/eternal damnation" influence showing. ;-)