Ghost of Toolshed Present: Busy, busy, busy

This picture intrigues me with its sense of work and industry and the shadows and shapes. It's some painting by a Depression Era artist who was paid by the government as part of the New Deal or something. There's a post about that here somewhere. The Lego-looking men are almost comical, but I guess their form also suggests the dehumanization of the world at that time. And who doesn't love Legos?


The present is the shortest period of time we experience because it's gone in a flash. All of a sudden it's the past, so it's really hard to justify spending too much of that precious present on talking about it instead of actually living it.. Time flies when you're having fun - or when you're too busy to know if you're having fun or not. Anyway, the future looms with its deadlines, responsibilities, and potentials that fuel the present. Speaking of presents, it's only 10 days until Christmas and Santa has lots of work to finish.

Merry Christmas to all!

Happy Easter!

Happy Valentine's Day

"Love Song" by Tesla

41

It's a nice prime number, if you're interested in that kind of stuff.

Since it's my birthday #41 today here are a couple of funky videos for a funky kind of number.



Say groove sucker (groove sucker)



I'm the lyrical gangster...

Peaceful, Easy Feeling

Happy New Year! I've been away from the computer a lot over the holidays, which were nice. There is no big news and that's okay. Maybe this year will be much more peaceful and easy than last year. The world is in pretty sorry shape in a lot of ways, but we can hope for recovery and relief...

My resolution for 2009 is to take better care of myself. I mean that physically as well as emotionally. Some of the ways to do it are the usual things like exercise and eating right, but also doing things like clearing away the burdens and other clutter in my life. Life is too short to spend it feeling bad and agonizing over things.

I hope everyone can look past the terrible economy and other worldly concerns and try to make their own little part of the world a little better. I know this all sounds kind of trite but hey, sometimes the familiar is a relief from the egregious.

I've Seen Better Days

The dust never settles. If that's what anyone is waiting for then it will be a long wait. Might as well take a deep breath and go. Shit or get off the pot, as the old folks said. And Mae West once said, "He who hesitates is a fool." Sure, that goes against that other famous saying about fools rushing in where angels fear to go, but not all of us are angels. ;-) And for some of us, life has conditioned us to be "jumpy" (quick to act/react) with a constant stream of big events.

2008 has been an absolutely brutal year. I hate to sound like a whiny cry-baby, but objectively looking at it all it's pretty obvious that life has been hard. Not the average hard anyway. But I don't really want to revisit all of those details.

On the other hand, life's been good, and I really shouldn't complain too much. I guess it's a matter of finding some balance between feeling grateful for an interesting life and feeling beat up and permanently scarred from so much excitement. Well, it's just a fact of life. I've seen better days...




May we all have a peaceful and healthy 2009. Happy New Year!

Merry Christmas!

Thanksgiving

Sorry to say, but this year Thanksgiving isn't really so happy. Although I've tried very hard to focus on all the good things and blessings in our lives, all the losses and struggles of the last year are so much in the foreground that there is no ignoring or avoiding them. This is my first Thanksgiving with no living parent. No more going to Dad's house for the family gathering. It is a big change.

I am thankful for not being so poor (yet) that we have to kill and eat squirrels to survive. I am thankful that my children are healthy and normal. I am thankful that we have made smart choices that have insulated us to some degree from the "financial crisis" that seems to be fueled by never-ending stupidity. (Hey, why can't someone create a new "biofuel" from that never-ending supply of stupidity?)

I am thankful that my own health is much better than one year ago, despite having to deal with so much drama and stress.

Well, there is a lot of cooking and preparing to do today. My thoughts and prayers are with the victims of the India terrorist attacks. And my hopes and wishes are for all of us to take a moment to be thankful, even if not exactly happy, for our lives, families, friends, and other goodness in our lives.

Happy Halloween

Independence Day 2008

Happy 4th of July! We are having a pool party, cookout, and fireworks. If you can get here, you're invited, as long as you can be well-behaved. ;-)



And a really cool video from the show "America's Got Talent" by two brothers who call themselves "Nuttin' But Strings":

I Can See Clearly Now

I can see clearly now, the rain is gone,
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind
It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun-shiny day

"I Can See Clearly Now" by Johnny Nash

Happy Easter Sunday, the most holy of the Christian holidays. Easter is early this year, and our weather has been pretty cold but pleasant enough. We had some egg hunts at my dad's house this afternoon. He's not doing as well as he was, mostly because the stupid doctor on Friday told him he was "worse off" than a week ago. You'd think by now they would understand the powerful psychological consequences of their words on their patients. Well, whether we acknowledge it or not our minds and psychology are quite powerful and influential in our fates.

24 Although Thomas the Twin was one of the twelve disciples, he wasn't with the others when Jesus appeared to them.

25 So they told him, "We have seen the Lord!" But Thomas said, "First, I must see the nail scars in his hands and touch them with my finger. I must put my hand where the spear went into his side. I won't believe unless I do this!"

26 A week later the disciples were together again. This time, Thomas was with them. Jesus came in while the doors were still locked and stood in the middle of the group. He greeted his disciples

27 and said to Thomas, "Put your finger here and look at my hands! Put your hand into my side. Stop doubting and have faith!"

28 Thomas replied, "You are my Lord and my God!"

29 Jesus said, "Thomas, do you have faith because you have seen me? The people who have faith in me without seeing me are the ones who are really blessed!"

John 20:24-29

Resurrection is psychologically pleasing. And I really cannot see or find any totally convincing argument against the possibility that our consciousness lives on after the physical body dies. Believe me, I have looked and many people have tried to tell me over the years.

Free will is inherent in humans. It is one of the traits that separates us from the "lower" animals. We determine (or limit) our destiny by our choices. I hope I don't really need to list examples to prove my point. This is a basic fact.

If one chooses to reject an afterlife he is essentially committing spiritual suicide. As a conscious entity, the mind determines whether or not it goes on. If the mind has convinced itself that physical death is the end of its existence, then it will be. This is completely consistent with the Christian idea of accepting, or not, that Jesus's teachings are the true path to God and His (our) Heavenly home (afterlife for our consciousness/mind/soul) somewhere in the whole of the Universe (other than the dimensions we know in physical life). Hell is permanent separation from God, and if the consciousness stops itself at physical death then that's definitely a permanent separation from God, or in other words, spiritual suicide.

Now let me switch over to my shamanic mode for a minute. One of the main jobs of the shaman in a community is to help people prepare for death. Nearly all societies have had some kind of rituals to help people move from one "world" to the next. This is the aspect of shamanism that I have been most uncomfortable about, yet as I look back at my adult life it is one of the most prevalent. Death has been a frequent presence in my adult life. My life situation has always worked out so that I was available to attend to the needs of my aging and dying grandparents. And my mother, and now my father.

I think I've always kind of intuitively known that this was my "purpose," though it has taken many years for me to "fine tune" my understanding (and acceptance) of it. So now, I'm facing the reality of dying and death yet again, and I must use any wisdom gained from all the cumulative experiences to help my dad prepare for the afterlife.

Okay, so in additional to attending to his physical needs during this process I will offer the spiritual support and encouragement that might ease his fear and anxiety about the bodily demise and the soul's movement beyond. I know that he is a believer and that his choice has been made.

Well, I've lost steam for a big finale here. Maybe I'll think of something to add later. Anyway, that is this Easter Sunday's sermonette.



I considered taking a page out of Lee Smolin's playbook and naming this sermonette something very pretentious and academic-sounding like "Resurrection and the Proof of God" (not quite a GUT but almost a TOE). ;-) I mean, now surely, mustn't I be at least as smart (or funny, maybe) as he is? ;-) But my spunky mood faded.

My Favorite Valentine

Nine years ago today I received the greatest Valentine's Day gift ever, my daughter:



She is the ultimate gift that keeps on giving, and as corny and cliche as it sounds she is everything I ever wished I was. It was as if God had made her to my exact order. Even when she was born all the nurses talked about how she was one of the most beautiful babies they had ever seen. That's a lot coming from people who see so many babies.

But she's not only beautiful out the outside. She's one of the sweetest and most generous and thoughtful people I've ever known, except when she's being bossy and nagging her little brother. ;-) Sometimes it is apparent that certain personality traits are innate. Her conscientiousness emerged at a very young age.

She is truly a great blessing and as she grows and matures it is even more obvious how lucky we are to have her. Call it some kind of Divine intervention or pure luck or good genetics, whatever created such a wonderful girl was some kind of magic. When she was just a tiny baby I felt so much joy just from holding her that I could imagine that we were surrounded by some halo of love like in paintings of Mary with the baby Jesus. And now, when we are together she lightens my spirit and soul.

Of course, she's not "perfect"; none of us are. But she's as close to an angel as you could ever meet. Happy Birthday, my favorite Valentine. Thanks to God, David, and all the other forces that brought you into my life. I love you more than I can ever express.


And Happy Valentine's Day to everyone. I hope your lives are as blessed as mine and that you have all the love and joy in your lives that you want and need.

Lordy, Lordy, So This Is Forty

*

Happy 40th Birthday to me! The older I get and the harder life becomes the more thankful and happy I am to have another birthday. I'm unashamed to be forty, with plenty of natural gray highlights. ;-) I wonder if at some point in my youth I had fantasized about what life at forty might be, but I don't remember now any of that. Maybe I didn't ever imagine it. I just can't recall having any specific expectations.

I love my life and wouldn't want it to be very different. I have a beautiful home, nice cars, and a comfortable lifestyle. But above all of that, I have been blessed with three wonderful children and a great husband. I love my family (not limited to biological or geographical ties) of soulmates and I've been so lucky to find the love of my life.

Of course, it hasn't been easy, but it's the struggles that make us appreciate it all. And there will be more struggles to come, but we can hope that they won't be too much.

I'd like to party like Britney Spears and 50 Cent, but I lack the resources and connections for that. Besides, I might not survive that kind of partying at this age. ;-)

Go, go, go, go
Go, go, go shorty
It's your birthday
We gonna party like it's your birthday
We gonna sip Bacardi like it's your birthday
And you know we don't give a fuck
It's not your birthday

You can find me in the club, bottle full of bub
Momma got what you need if you need to feel a buzz
I'm into having sex, I ain't into makin' love
So come give me a hug if you into to gettin' rough

*Okay, so these pictures are from a few hours before I actually turned 40, but surely in the morning I won't wake up looking a whole lot different. ;-)

Jib Jab's 2007 Review

glumbert - In 2007

Roll With the Changes

I knew it had to happen
Felt the tables turnin'
Got me through my darkest hour
I heard the thunder clappin'
Felt the desert burnin'
Until you poured on me
Like a sweet sunshower

"Roll With the Changes" by REO Speedwagon

Usually I do a year-end retrospective and review the major events of the year, but I think I'll skip it this year. Let's just say it's been a real roller coaster year, literally and figuratively. If I tried to go over all the losses and traumas of the year it might sound like I was trying to write a Book of Job Lite (50% less heavy than the original). ;-)

Of course, it all hasn't been bad. And focusing only on the hard times isn't a healthy perspective anyway. If I had to concentrate the lessons of it all into one word, I think that faith is it. I've learned a deeper meaning to faith than the one that its critics like to use (believing blindly or some such thing). Faith is an intellectual decision to be satisfied with knowing something without a physical sign of it. There are many physical things that are fleeting and ultimately unnecessary for us to know what they symbolize. The physical world is sometimes only a symbolic representation of our ideas and feelings, or even our very existence. If those symbols disappear it does not mean that our ideas and feelings never existed or don't continue to exist. This is what I mean by faith. A true knowing without the need for 'evidence'. I don't see this as a weakness or whatever else certain types of people call it. I see it as a strength and maturity and trust.

I know you're an emotional girl
It took a lot for you to not lose your faith in this world
I can't offer you proof
But you're going to face a moment of truth
It's hard when you're always afraid
You just recover when another belief is betrayed
So break my heart if you must
It's a matter of trust

"A Matter of Trust" by Billy Joel

Indeed, faith and trust go hand in hand. And without them we can't roll with the changes, which is essential to survival. So fasten your seat belts, make sure your lapbar is securely in the locked position, hang on, and enjoy the ride!

And Happy New Year 2008!

Making My List and Checking It Twice

This year I'm happy to report that unlike last year the Christmas spirit is pretty strong even though I lost two weeks of shopping time. I'm just pacing myself and getting the shopping done a little bit each day. Maybe it's because I'm thankful to even be shopping at all. :-)

So no "ba humbug" this year, but more "God bless us every one!"

Merry Christmas to all, even the atheists. ;-)

Cool Christmas Tree

Giving Thanks

A Happy Thanksgiving to all. Let us take this day to appreciate our blessings.

Happy Halloween

created by my 11 year old son

Happy Mother's Day

I'd like to wish a very happy Mother's Day to everyone, not just the mothers. I've had friends who didn't like their mothers for various reasons. Some women just aren't really good mothers, and some children aren't very good either. It balances out somewhere down the line.

Regardless, try to appreciate the woman that gave you life even if she hasn't always met your expectations. And mothers, do appreciate the children you've been assigned to teach how to be good human beings.

We mothers learn so much from our children if we pay attention to them.

For those whose mothers are gone, like mine, take this day to meditate on how your mother influenced your growth. We are allowed to miss our mothers. There is no shame in it. Taking one day a year to mourn is okay.

Happy Mother's Day everyone!