Human nature has changed little, if at all, since humans have become literate. We're no better or smarter, really, than the people who lived thousands of years ago. Maybe we are a little cleaner and more comfortable, but ultimately we have not eliminated our biological and animalistic instincts and urges. Through neither "behavioral" therapy nor "cognitive" therapy have we succeeded in defeating our basic nature. And why should we anyway?
Even the Bible tells us this:
The Futility of All Endeavor
1 The words of the Preacher, the son of David, king in Jerusalem.
2 “Vanity of vanities,” says the Preacher, “Vanity of vanities! All is vanity.”
3 What advantage does man have in all his work Which he does under the sun?
4 A generation goes and a generation comes, But the earth remains forever.
5 Also, the sun rises and the sun sets; And hastening to its place it rises there again.
6 Blowing toward the south, Then turning toward the north, The wind continues swirling along; And on its circular courses the wind returns.
7 All the rivers flow into the sea, Yet the sea is not full. To the place where the rivers flow, There they flow again.
8 All things are wearisome; Man is not able to tell it. The eye is not satisfied with seeing, Nor is the ear filled with hearing.
9 That which has been is that which will be, And that which has been done is that which will be done. So there is nothing new under the sun.
10 Is there anything of which one might say, “See this, it is new”? Already it has existed for ages Which were before us.
11 There is no remembrance of earlier things; And also of the later things which will occur, There will be for them no remembrance Among those who will come later still.
For those who think the Bible is only full of stories of an angry, immature God, well, they just don't know.
I need to regain my health and well-being, whatever it takes. The drive of self-preservation has kicked in, so to speak. So much of my life has been spent on others - helping them heal, helping them die, helping them with whatever demons they were fighting. This is the job of a shaman after all. But even the shaman needs healing sometimes. There is a time for all things. The Bible tells us this too:
A Time for Everything
1 There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven—
2 A time to give birth and a time to die; A time to plant and a time to uproot what is planted.
3 A time to kill and a time to heal; A time to tear down and a time to build up.
4 A time to weep and a time to laugh; A time to mourn and a time to dance.
5 A time to throw stones and a time to gather stones; A time to embrace and a time to shun embracing.
6 A time to search and a time to give up as lost; A time to keep and a time to throw away.
7 A time to tear apart and a time to sew together; A time to be silent and a time to speak.
8 A time to love and a time to hate; A time for war and a time for peace.
9 What profit is there to the worker from that in which he toils? 10 I have seen the task which God has given the sons of men with which to occupy themselves.
The hunter has to hunt. The cat has to prowl. The cougar has to prey. The trickster has to trick, and the joker has to joke. Jung would agree.
"Ten Years Gone" Led Zeppelin