Showing posts with label Pope. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Pope. Show all posts

Monday, December 17, 2007

Dear Quentin Tarantino,

I'm sure you get all kinds of kooky letters from crazy freaks with their 'brilliant' movie ideas. Well, I'm pretty kooky and crazy and maybe a little freaky and I do have a movie idea, but I'm not promising anything brilliant. ;-) Just so you know, I'm a hometown girl from Knoxville, just in case that might help a little. :-) I really love some of your movies that I've seen, especially the Kill Bill movies, Sin City (your influence as guest director is obvious), and Pulp Fiction. I'm sorry to admit that I haven't seen all of them. Maybe someday I'll get caught up on some movie watching.

Anyway, if you sex it up a lot and fictionalize most of it, you could make a really funny and quirky movie based on my life. Just a few of the real elements to start with are my status as a vicious momma who drives a red Corvette convertible (when I'm not driving a bunch of kids around in an 'evil', full size SUV - Ford Expedition). Well, that's kind of a good start, don't you think? ;-) For some of the fantasy elements you could have me involved in torrid affairs with Lubos Motl and the Pope. Okay, just for a disclaimer to make sure no rumors get started I must tell you that in actuality Lubos Motl has only ever shown the utmost impeccable integrity towards me, and of course the Pope doesn't even know me. But let's get back to the fiction. Another plot twist possibility could involve all this global warming garbage and how me and my cohorts form a secret alliance to stop the evil AntiChrist who is leading the world astray, and so on.

Kate Winslet would be the best choice to play me. She's much prettier than I am, but that's how it's supposed to be in movies.



These pictures from Romance and Cigarettes capture some of the vicious momma spirit, I think.

Maybe Jude Law could play Lubos, or even you. I know you like to show up in your movies. And maybe Anthony Hopkins could play the Pope. We could throw in Viggo Mortensen as a mystery man without whose aid we couldn't succeed in our mission. Probably Alec Baldwin would be good as the AntiChrist. I really dislike him anyway. He's a true cad so it might not be too much of a stretch for him to play that part.

So there you go. There are lots of cool music ideas too, but I won't get too carried away. I do think that you would have the vision and humor to create a fun, interesting story with these elements. And maybe you could even ask Michael Crichton to collaborate on some of the scientific aspects of the story. I like his movies too, though they are much different from yours. It might be a very strange but complementary mixture to have you two working together. But maybe you two hate each other and it is a terrible prospect? I have no idea. I'm just throwing around some wild notions.

Have a nice holiday.

Sincerely,
Rae Ann

PS How could I have been so thoughtless? I should have mentioned my best friend's brother, Walt Foreman, who is a novelist and filmmaker in California. I think he might have some good ideas too.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Dear Pope Benedict XVI,

Thank you so very much for your work on releasing unbaptized infants and children from Limbo. You're a pretty good guy, and I'm sorry that I've compared your appearance to the evil Emperor in Star Wars. But I know you have a good sense of humor and have forgiven me. ;-) And that offer for some Corvette Therapy is always open.

Sincerely,
Rae Ann, your unofficial and occasional prophet ;-)

PS Hey, what happened? Did Gore's demons get to you? I hope that your recent comments about the environment only reflect a moderate and sensible concern about "stewardship" and is not evidence of your being brainwashed into the "green" AntiChrist's agenda. Say it ain't so!

Friday, February 16, 2007

Al Gore Is The AntiChrist

Update 3-2-07: Holy Sh*t! This is getting a little weird. ;-)


The Beast from the Sea: And the dragon stood on the sand of the seashore. Then I saw a beast coming up out of the sea, having ten horns and seven heads, and on his horns were ten diadems, and on his heads were blasphemous names.

Revelation 13:1


The Seven Heads had the names of the Seven Deadly Sins: Luxuria (extravagance, later lust), Gula (gluttony), Avaritia (avarice/greed), Acedia (sloth), Ira (wrath), Invidia (envy), and Superbia (pride/hubris) which is the worst of the Seven.

The ten horns and crowns have generally been interpreted as representing world leaders.

I saw one of his heads as if it had been slain, and his fatal wound was healed. And the whole earth was amazed and followed after the beast;

Revelation 13:3


The fatal wound was to the head of Hubris and refers to Gore's "loss" of the Presidency. Let's recall what happened to Gore after the 2000 election. He kind of fell into a funk that could be described as a sort of political death:


From cnn

He had been for eight years the Vice President of the most powerful nation in the world but lost it all. Certainly, that would be consistent with the imagery of his head of Hubris being fatally wounded. But it has healed now, and Gore is full of even more Hubris than ever before. He has his movie which has gained him much (ill-gotten) acclaim with a nomination for a Nobel Peace Prize as well as an Academy Award. And now he is organizing a "Live Aid" type of concert for this summer devoted to "stopping" Global Warming.

They worshiped the dragon because he gave his authority to the beast; and they worshiped the beast, saying, “Who is like the beast, and who is able to wage war with him?” There was given to him a mouth speaking arrogant words and blasphemies, and authority to act for forty-two months was given to him. And he opened his mouth in blasphemies against God, to blaspheme His name and His tabernacle, that is, those who dwell in heaven.

It was also given to him to make war with the saints and to overcome them, and authority over every tribe and people and tongue and nation was given to him. All who dwell on the earth will worship him, everyone whose name has not been written from the foundation of the world in the book of life of the Lamb who has been slain.

Revelation 13:4-8


I'm not sure about the forty-two months, or 3.5 years, and when it actually starts. If it begins at the general release date of the movie, June 2, 2006, then the 3.5 years is up in November 2009.

(You know that when communists and capitalists agree on something then it must be true. ;-) In fact there is growing awareness. ;-) )

If Gore gets his way then he will essentially be given authority over every tribe and peoople and tongue and nation. And all who dwell on earth will be forced to follow him and his Global Warming teachings. Everyone who rejects the laws of Nature in favor of Gore's Impending Disaster will be removing their names from the book of life. The Global Warming Alarmists are committing the Deadly Sin of Hubris to think that we can really induce or stop large climatic changes. (first said here)

The Beast from the Earth: Then I saw another beast coming up out of the earth; and he had two horns like a lamb and he spoke as a dragon. He exercises all the authority of the first beast in his presence. And he makes the earth and those who dwell in it to worship the first beast, whose fatal wound was healed. He performs great signs, so that he even makes fire come down out of heaven to the earth in the presence of men. And he deceives those who dwell on the earth because of the signs which it was given him to perform in the presence of the beast, telling those who dwell on the earth to make an image to the beast who had the wound of the sword and has come to life. And it was given to him to give breath to the image of the beast, so that the image of the beast would even speak and cause as many as do not worship the image of the beast to be killed.

Revelation 13:11-15


The name of this beast from the earth that the beast from the sea has given the power to perform "great signs" is clearly the movie An Inconvenient Truth. Imagine how John who wrote the book of Revelation would interpret his visions as real beings when he might have actually seen visions from the film. He had no way of knowing that mankind would have created such realistic "graven images." This is how visions usually work. We don't always know exactly how to interpret them because of our limited knowledge at the time.

As we are beginning to see any of us who do not accept the "great signs" presented by the beast of the earth (the film) are being severely criticized, ridiculed, and otherwise character-assassinated. Now we've even been ridiculously and maliciously equated with the "Holocaust Deniers." If that isn't a blasphemous abuse of the Jewish People and their trials then I don't know what is. In fact, it seems to be very consistent with the picture presented in the book of Revelation.

And he causes all, the small and the great, and the rich and the poor, and the free men and the slaves, to be given a mark on their right hand or on their forehead, and he provides that no one will be able to buy or to sell, except the one who has the mark, either the name of the beast or the number of his name. Here is wisdom. Let him who has understanding calculate the number of the beast, for the number is that of a man; and his number is 666.

Revelation 13:16-18


If Gore and the AGW Devils win the "debate" about the future of the world we all will be required to accept an AGW mark in order to function in the world.


Well, apologies for cutting off abruptly. I just can't stomach the further exploration of these possibilities. But I do want to say that if I mysteriously disappear or even die then it's probably because I've exposed Al Gore for what he really is. ;-)

And that is today's (satiric) sermonette.

Monday, September 18, 2006

Dear Pope Benedict XVI,

I'm not sure of the proper way to address your Excellency or whatever. ;-) Please forgive my American informality. With all due respect I admire your intelligence, reason, faith, and diplomacy. If I may, I'd like to make you an unusual offer. In light of the recent controversy over your words about the nature of Islam and the resulting confirmation of your statements, I'd like to provide you with an opportunity to express how you really feel about the death threats and other nonsense in a personal and private way.

Sometimes it's necessary to express our displeasure through some form of empathic projection or other therapy. I realize that you have a real close relationship with God and that He sustains you in all the ways you need, but I think God would not be too upset with you if you joined me for a little joyride. Sometimes when I'm feeling put-upon I'll get in my (red) Corvette convertible and drive around playing some loud music. This is a "safe" way to express the thoughts and feelings I have that I can't otherwise fully express in good conscience.

What in particular I have in mind is that we could listen to "Ridin" by Chamillionaire and sing along but change some of the words if you'd like. The first part is okay as is (actually it's the best part):

They see me rollin'
They hatin'
Patrollin'
And tryin' to catch me ridin' dirty
Tryin' to catch me ridin' dirty
Tryin' to catch me ridin' dirty
Tryin' to catch me ridin' dirty
Tryin' to catch me ridin' dirty
My music so loud;
I'm swangin'
They hopin'
That they gon' catch me ridin' dirty
Tryin' to catch me ridin' dirty
Tryin' to catch me ridin' dirty
Tryin' to catch me ridin' dirty
Tryin' to catch me ridin' dirty


Well, don't you agree that it fits with your situation? Those crazy Jihadists love to try to catch you ridin' dirty (criticizing Islam). In this next part you can think of the "police" and "law" as the Jihadists, and you can think of all the other stuff as just 'fluff' that makes you feel like a badass, kind of like all the papal vestments and all that. ;-) The parts that I've made bold type are parts that I think you'd really appreciate.

Police think they can see me lean;
I'm tint so it ain't easy to be seen.
They see me ride by, they can see the glean
And my shine on the deck and the TV screen.
Ride with a new chick, she like "Hold up."
Next to the Playstation controlla;
well have a full clip, in my pistolla
that I'm a send a jacker into a coma.
Girl, you ain't know, I'm crazy like Krayzie Bone;
Just tryin' to bone, ain't tryin' to have no babies.
Ride clean as hell so I pull in ladies.
Law's on patrol; you know they hate me.
Music turned all the way up and to the maximum;
I can speak for some niggas tryin' to jack for some.
But we packin' somethin' that we have
And, um, will have a nigga locked up in the maximum
Security cell. I'm grippin' oak.
Music loud and the tippin' slow.
Twins steady twistin' like hit this dough;
Police pull up from behind and I'm sittin low.
Windows down, gotta stop pollution.
CDs change; niggas like "Who is that producin'?"
This the Play-N-Skillz when we out and cruisin'
Got warrants in every city except Houston
But I still ain't losin'.


But really, the content of the verses is kind of hard to understand, and it might be better if you didn't understand them anyway. ;-) But the chorus is great and sounds really good in my car. The point is to allow yourself to temporarily feel the indignation and redirect it through the music and the wind blowing past you. It will make you feel better. I call it Corvette Therapy. :-) (for a preview, click here)

And I totally respect your oath of celibacy and all those other concerns. You do not need to worry about being in a fast sports car with a hot-blooded American woman. I promise I won't put a move on you or anything. You'll be perfectly safe. (you're a little 'mature' for me anyway) ;-)

So just think about it and let me know if you think you'd like to try it. I might even let you drive a little, which is a huge thing because I don't let anybody (except grudgingly my husband sometimes) drive my Corvette. But if you can't trust the Pope then who can you trust? Do you know how to drive? It's an automatic so it's easy, but don't let that make you think it's not powerful and quick and very responsive. It is. Very.

I'd be most pleased to be able to fulfill this offer. Thanks. And stay tough and hang in there.

Most respectfully and sincerely,

Rae Ann (a.k.a. Vicious Momma)


PS If you like "Ridin'" you might like Snoop Dogg's "Drop It Like It's Hot" too.

PPS Just last night I heard Weird Al's parody of "Ridin'" ("White and Nerdy"). Visit Weird Al's MySpace Page to hear it. It's hilarious!